confessions of a recovering wallflower

3:27PM

i feel funny. i don't know why. or maybe i kinda do, but i shouldnt. hmph.

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10:02AM - forgotten land

i forgot this place existed! what's new? in a month i'll be moving into a really great house and helping fix it up. it has lots of extra room that will be great for gatherings and crafting! plus a big ass tree in the yard to keep summer bbq's cool. plus i'll be getting a kitten when i move in to keep me company. then come march i'll be married! we got engaged a few weeks ago and it was lovely. i love that guy.

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12:29PM

fuck you fuck you fuck you!!!

Current mood: angry

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2:49PM - ...........

son of a fuckin bitch. i get so frustrated and worked up over all this. i feel like im being run over. people are jerks.

Current mood: annoyed

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9:17AM - joy in the morning

somebody is in a rotten mood today and i'll give you a hint: i work with her and she already smells like she's gone rotten. and im trapped all alone with her. since i held out all day yesterday i might try and leave early today. just a little bit to get my weekend started early. this weekend it's a christmas extravaganza! and i'm thinking of enlisting cody for help. i've made a list and i'm checking it twice.

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9:15AM

ahh the quiet. i was the first person even here this monring. the evil one just called and will be in around 1030. i dont know what the fuck she is going to do all day. or what the fuck im going to do all day to avoid her. being trapped in a room with just her is painful. i was hoping just maybe id get off early today, seeing as though there is no real reason for me to be here and then i could go home and catch a cat nap before probably going to the show tonight. knock knock and losin streaks. hopefully it will start on time because i am a grandma.

cody gets to go to sf tomorrow. im jealous just because its something to actually do. i want to hit up ikea for christmas stuff. and spend an entire day with cody like we used to.

thanksgiving was decent. i spent 24hrs with my parents and we had rough patches. i forget how insane my dad can be. but we had a nice brunch and good conversation and it relly only went sour when he tried to hang a towel rack and then we got notice that his dad and step mom were coming over. i felt like i was thrown back to when i was living there and had no power over the situations at hand. so it was nice to come home despite the dirty dishes and piles of stuff that need to find proper homes, because thats the place where i call the shots.

i cant believe we've got 2 holidays down and one to go. i better not as much as blink.

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4:42PM

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

Current mood: bored

Current music: swing. we've upgraded

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9:05AM

sexy undies DO make you feel better about yourself. i've got to go buy some more. even if they don't hold in my gunt.

tonight cody are having a nice dinner of stuffed chicken and trying some wine. we are not wine drinkers. i've never met one i've liked. this one has potential, since it comes in a pink can with a straw and we have a crush on the creator. then we're popping my mochi cherry.

i forgot to bring my trader joe's salad for lunch. i really need to get that gather your things the night before thing down.

im getting excited about walk the line. i have to admit joaquin is lookin' pretty good as johnny.

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10:14AM

i just had a wiff of the most perfect mix of smells- it smelled just like my grandpa. i got teary. happy and sad. i wish they were the same as they were when i was young.... especially at the holidays. i love them so much.

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10:12AM - it will be ok. we have eachother.

Current mood: contemplative

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3:09PM - oh wait i remember

also because you are all ignorant bastards.

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2:03PM - it's the little things that drive me insane.

today i found out that when someone calls asking if we are hiring i cannot tell them if we are or are not. they never keep me posted on these things, so i sometimes get calls about positions and i had no idea. but "legally" saying we are hiring is a no no. because we can get sued supposively. so i have to dance around a real answer. working here is just one big lesson in double speak.

i hate my lack of mobility. my boss paces and drives eveeryone crazy. i think i make one coworker want to vomit every time she looks at me and my chub. blah. i had more.

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2:53PM

today is one of those days. i guess it started last night. i was annoyed. today i was still annoyed. plus as the day drags on i feel worse and worse about myself. and i feel sicker and sicker. everyone went to the weekly staff meetin (but me- im not invited) and came back in a rotten mood. the evil office woman has been bipolar all day. getting mad, not taking my messages, and then thanking me about everything and making conversation- which she never does. weird. i got paid but it was less than usual because i suck. my boss lusts after someone here in the office and its creepy and weird... and they are all obsessed over glasses with fiber optics in them. glad we're goin fair style. work people are still small minded. i'd hate to hear what they say about me when i'm not around. today i was mistaken for "goth" again. i just have black hair. thats all! despite these things the weather is gorgeous and i hope this evening is pleasant and the food is good.

Current mood: blah

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12:42PM - every little thing she does drives me up the wall

stop spreading your anti-rain propaganda. you claim you love the heat but i heard you complain all summer long. here's a better idea- shut your fucking trap.

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3:04PM

if i continue to work here will i become as small minded as you?

Current mood: annoyed

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12:03PM - oh yeah

my dear vinny died.

( and i never showed you these: )

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9:24AM - why not

Bold the ones that apply.

( Read more... )

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11:41PM

looks like i have 19 minutes until my birthday weekend is officially totally and utterly over. back to the real world. what a shame, it's been a blast with lots of friends and family and overindulgence. i'll try to keep the memories close by so let my mind escape to when i want to pound my head against my desk.

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4:56PM - eww

I know I’m not the only one, who has those days where you somehow accidentally are riddled with horrible visions of people you don’t want to picture doing certain things. Not saying people want to see me doing certain things, but I actually just shook from disgust.

I wish I could say it made me a little less hungry.

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3:22PM - waste

i don't know why it can bother me so much, and i know being a packrat can be bad, but why must you throw good things away? my boss found a stack of nice binders and because i didnt know where they came from, and i couldn't think of a use in 3 seconds so he threw them out. i couldnt bring myself to ask for them. he'd think i was a scrounge. part of me would like to hunt them down on the way out and take them home to invent some new ways to use them. i'm sure i could think of something sometime someday. but maybe it's bad to steal more than once a day, since earlier i shoved a roll of tp into my purse and swiped some tampons.

the evil office woman needs to watch her back. everyone wants to hurt her. we send emails to eachother with things like "Ugh!!!" here's a good one from today:"her new nickname is "scoup". she knows everything.....she has the scoup on everything. or she smells like a scoup of something."

Current mood: thirsty

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